Eventhough I tried my best to understanding you. Let you lead me. Still, it doesn't make you reassured. 

I don't know what's wrong and what went wrong. 

Or maybe the problem was you all along. 

No matter how hard I tried to complement you. It is not enough. Will never be enough if you're still like this. 

I still do miss you. I miss us. 

But what can I do? 

I hate being ignored.

I hate heartless reply. 

I hate cold reply as if you don't even want to talk to me at all. 

I am not the One I used to be. I am not that strong now. I can't endure that feeling anymore. I am all grown up. Or so I think. I am more liberate person now. 

I rather let you be than trying to talk to you. Maybe it doesn't effect you at all, but for me trying to talk to you, communicate with you hurts me a lot. 

I choose to stay silent and quite. 

What can I do? If the problem were you all along. 

- Myself, Tuesday 6th Sep, 2016.

I tought we are the center of the world. 

When I am never mad at you or at least hold my anger from you. You did whatever you want to do. 

Blame me for the tiniest mistake of me. 

The mistake that I still can't control it. 

"I think we should break up. We better this way." 

When I saw his message pop up on My facebook notification that time, I replied instanly, 

"Why? Tell me the reasons." 

I tried to act cool as I could, I tries to hold back my emotions.

He replied an hour later,

"I feel lonely with you. You were never give that much attention to me. Eventough we're far away you could video call everyday but you didn't. You are so ignorant. And I think I've found someone better for me. She is so affectionate. So we should break up." 

I read his reply and feel like I've been fooled. I am only a First grader high school that time. Well, he's not the first person who said he liked me but, he's officialy my first boyfriend eventough I've never met him. We met on facebook because we had the same interest on anime (japanesse cartoon) so we got close and he confessed. Yes. It's like they said dating online with a person you've never met. I am in Indonesia and he was in Malaysia. And at that time I still don't understand dating at all. Wheter what I should do or what should I said. And I don't even know how to video call him. I only use facebook at that time. 

It's 10 pm and my activity that day has been finished so I can go back to my room and I replied him, 

"Okay. I don't know what to say anymore." 

Then, I closed my browser page, lock my phone off then go to bed. 

"So It was what they called breaking up." 

I sulk in my bed and went to dreamland right away. 

I never told anyone about him but every one know it when they see my relationship status on facebook. I feel okay after that night. I did not feel any pain or sadness at all. We dated only few months anyway.

But few days later When I opened his facebook profile just because I want to know how he was doing. And he already has a new girlfriend. I've seen his wall and they write wall to wall everyday with a lot of cute emoticons, and the girlfriend said she would video call him tonight and all. So this is the type of girl that he wants me to be. Suddenly I think this is what they said "cheating". So he cheated with her behind because it's imposibble they already this close if the just know each other recently. 

Okay. I gave up. 

I wont give a damn if there's someone like him confessed anymore. I want something real not just cyber lover. I want things like these real. 

That's what I tought. 

I never expected  that I will experienced what I said in real. 

This only the begining. Before I met my soulmate painfully. 

Because of this person I learnt what love is and how it will make you happy as id you'll fly into the sky and then make you sad and feel like crumble down into the deepest dark hole easily. 

This person can turns my inside upside down easily. 

Why Can I have another? Why it has to be him? 

Stay tuned for the next chapter! ^^

I am vulnerable when It comes to you. 

It beats words. 

It beats words. 

I promise you. 

I don't know why, all that bad time starts to fade away and I don't remember whats hurt back then. Small mistakes and small hurt will fade away. 

Big mistakes, big fights will eventually be forgiven even we will never forget it. 

You are the same too, even how bad I am, how big my mistakes to you, you'll eventually forgive me and cannot stay angry at me. 

Me too, when you did something hurtful I can't angry or yelled at you. I cried silently, it always like that. 

People say, the highest act of love is when someone you love hurt you, you can't be mad at them and just cried because you think they just don't know what'd they doing. 

Whatever and However the sotuation is I will stay by your side, support you and protect you. Inshaa Allah :) 

We drove motorcycle on this hot city but it's okay. With you everything became cooler. Blaah :p

1st destination is Galaxy Mall. We came to Pull & Beat at first and then Stradivarius. After that we go up to Foodcourt Area and then found this old time ice cream ( I mean this ice cream is so popular back then hmm like 2 or 3 years ago) 

Yaay it's Murasaki Imo (Taro) Flavour never change just like before xD 

Then finally we tired and go home x3

See you next time readers. 

Right now I am so excited writings on blog and I hope I can keep it up for the next few months or even years ^^

It's simple but strong like this blog ehe ^^

Thank you for reading my blog whoever and wherever you are. God bless you :) 

Its late means my time to post something  like the blog said, "Let's chat before bed" ^^